Comments on: the difference between “i suck” and a truly humble heart

By: kathyescobar

kathyescobar — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:56:27 +0000

thanks M, glad you are here

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By: M

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:18:53 +0000

One year to the day you posted this, I have found this blog. I was looking for the words to say to a friend and this was perfect. Thank you so much for sharing your heart.

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By: Davida

Davida — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 23:32:23 +0000

thank you kathy.

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By: kathyescobar

kathyescobar — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 22:10:49 +0000

hey all, thanks for all the wonderful comments…

tracy – i am so glad it stirred up some good stuff. yes, the Holy Spirit is always stirring the pot!(in a good way, but sometimes it’s awfully painful. i always call it the pleasure and the pain) xo

pam – thanks for sharing & yes, i am with you, i am on a continual journey to knowing more deeply what true humility really looks like, feels like, is. pride is far more my reflex. i loved seeing you in pdx. you rock.

amy – nice to hear from you. i have been enjoying reading your blog. yeah, “hunched over, shoulders up over our ears in shame” is no way to live. certainly not what Jesus had in mind for us when he said that he came that we’d have life and have it to the full.

john – sorry for the meddling; i promise, i don’t mean to! i am so glad you are part of this community here and some of my crazy thoughts resonate with you. and yes, i so agree, i suck is way easier, safer, than true humility. see you next week.

dan – thanks. and for the link love, too.

vivian – oh what a beautiful story. thanks for sharing a piece of your heart. that song is stuck in my head, too. i have been playing the cd a lot in my car and those lyrics are so powerful. i love what you said here: “instead of getting up saying I suck, I got up and said, Oh Lord, I am human and I need you to help me change!” there it is.

angela – thank you, my friend

patty – thanks for sharing & i am with you that the reflex is so easy, the path of least resistance for me is always toward “i stink” instead of the much harder road of letting God really reveal truth to me and transform places in me that need transforming.

susan – thanks for your thoughts here. beautiful.

teresa – nice to hear from you here. yes, i so agree with you: “I wonder if our telling ourselves we suck all the time is a little bit of a way to keep God at a distance and to keep ourselves in control of our identity. Putting our identity in the resurrection means giving up ourselves, no?” in my life, i know that’s what it looks like, somehow my “i suck” feelings keep God at a distance and me safely protected. pride and control are very effective at a nice little barrier that will keep me safe, unemotional, and detached from God’s true heart for relationship with me. thanks for the book rec, too. sounds really interesting.

randi – wow, thanks for everything you shared here and for your honest processing about what’s been stirred up. lots of amazing shifts in all kinds of ways. it’s hard but oh so good. love to you!

mike – nice to hear from you. that’s fun, i have really enjoyed the guide and it has spurred some great conversations, that’s for sure. i always like to hear what you are doing there, too, at common table. we both love our crazy little communities, don’t we? what a gift…

amy – thanks for your beautiful thoughts as always

liz – there is so much in what you shared that resonates for me! i am with you, “Christians seem to think that putting themselves down is virtuous. It may have something to do with how the church has put more emphasis on how unworthy we are and not enough emphasis on us being created in the image of God.” i have a little story about this i will probably write on eventually, but there is a little girl at the refuge that is 4 who every week always gives me a huge hug. i love her to pieces, she is so dear and her mommmy and grandma are so beautiful, too. anyway, she comes up to me and i say “you are just one of the the sweetest little girls in the whole wide world & i love you!” and she gives me a hug and walks away and i keep talking to whoever i was talking to. 5 minutes later she comes up to me and taps me, interrupts me, and so i stop my conversation to talk to her, and she says “kathy, you know why i am the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world?” and i’m like “no, why?” and she says “because my heart is good.” i said to my friend, “now wouldn’t it be beautiful if she held on to that thought forever? that her heart was good because it was made in the image of God? sure, i know our hearts have some really ugly things in them, too, but i believe wholeheartedly that we were created in God’s image from the beginning and through Christ that image is consistently being restored. “i suck” is a reflection of a distorted image of ourselves & i believe sometimes a reflection of a distorted image of God, too. sorry for the ramble, your thoughts just made me think of it!

els – always love hearing from you here & glad these thoughts resonate with you, too.

davida – oh the last thing i want is to highlight one more reason to suck, hahahha! great to hear from you! such honest thoughts you shared here and i think so many can connect with this in different ways. i think the part that i resonated with was the “chasm between the me i am and the me i want to be.” and the dangerous ground we can live in when we are focused on our shortcomings and the chasm instead of somehow experiencing love and grace and understanding in the present, just as we are, without having to somehow be somewhere we’re not. i also thought of what you said at the end and it relates to the song that vivian and i have in our head from the bridge: “will i let him, can i let him.” the song says “i am clean, i am new. i am changing. i am changing. can i let it? can i let it? can i let it?”

okay enough rambling for one commment. love you all & your sharing here.

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By: Davida

Davida — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 13:54:37 +0000

ugh!!! this post highlights one more reason that i suck!!! hahahahahaha!!!!!!

i’ve been so weighed down by my thoughts of all my shortcomings and failures. i know i am selfish and could make a LONG list of things that are wrong with me. to believe that Jesus died for my sins, that isn’t so hard, but to believe that Jesus can really change me…be formed in me? yeah, right, whatever. that thinking is so prideful and i know it, but it is what i believe. there is also a huge amount of fear. that it is too good to be true. because let’s face it – i know myself. and fear of disappointment…something with which i am way too familiar. there is a chasm between the me i am and the me i want to be. a part of me believs that God is ABLE to fill it, but is He WILLING to fill it? for me. specifically. and if He is, will i let Him. can i let Him?

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By: ElsKnowsX

ElsKnowsX — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:40:01 +0000

Dear Kathy,

Thank you so much for all the feelings and emotions you are sharing with the world!! I was struggling with these emotions recently aswell, thanks again putting them into words!! ElsX

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By: liz

liz — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:22:30 +0000

Kathy – Good stuff here as always. It reminds me of when I first realized that having a
low self esteem was as prideful as an inflated ego – they both were all about self. It seems
that a lot of Christians seem to think that putting themselves down is virtuous. It may have something
to do with how the church has put more emphasis on how unworthy we are and not enough
emphasis on us being created in the image of God. Somehow in my mind this also relates
to the way many Christians seem to act like it would be wrong for them to accept a compliment
for something they have done well or some success they have achieved. I don’t think that is
a right image of what humility looks like. It seems to me that true humility has to be linked to
having a right and balanced perspective/view and that somehow having a right perspective/view frees
us from having (or being compelled) to be self-centered so that we can be other-centered.

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By: Amy

Amy — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:32:33 +0000

Kathy,
Simply beautiful post.

I, too, desire to walk more and more in humility. For Papa Son Holy Spirit to transform my heart day-by-day into letting go of selfishness in every part of my life.

Blessings,
~Amy
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com

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By: Mike Croghan

Mike Croghan — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:34:44 +0000

Really good stuff, Kathy. I’m part of a (very) small group that’s working through Christine Sine’s Lenten guide together as well, and I felt like this shed some real light on some conversations we’ve had. I forwarded it to my friends. Thanks!

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By: Randi :)

Randi :) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 02:22:01 +0000

p.s. I think I’ll reword & write this on my mirror:

“it’s a false premise that our sin defines us, not his resurrection. true humility is the beautiful and mysterious sweeping in of God’s truth & a recognition of our humanity and need for God’s healing and a powerful sweeping out of the ugly things that rob of us of joy and life and peace and free relationship with God and others.”

this truly is why I haven’t been able to reach out and be a do-er like my heart yearns to be …. how could I even see anybody else around me when I’m so blinded my myself?

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