randi –

minnow – thanks. i am so with you, that parenting is this place where we can learn so much about being part of the Body. almost every aspect of relationship is present there day after day after day, lots to learn from, that’s for sure

lisa – yeah, what’s up with people handing babies over like it’s nothing (i never really did that, i think that incident scarred me). how’d you think of listening to love and logic for teens? that made me smile

raffi – good to hear from you here. fun post. yeah, the kiddos give us spiritual metaphor after spiritual metaphor don’t they?

steve – great story, i can so picture it. i have so had the same kind of moment where the kids bust us publically! it’s really great to have your kids announce to dinner guests–my mom said bad words in the car today!

susan – thanks for sharing. yeah, i think you hit on something so important: it’s the long haul. this is a marathon not a sprint and it will include many many many ups and downs. it is not for the fainthearted but like minnow said, it is a place where we learn so much about God & ourselves. it’s been way too long since i’ve seen you, hope we can connect one of these days soon!

mark – that is a beautiful story…that’s my hope, that over the years a deep and true and meaningful friendship continues to develop.

toia – yep, those books do nothing but bring shame and self-doubt, in my opinion. i know they have good ideas in them but i guess i just wish some of them would be more honest and less sure.

jeff – i remember reading this when you first posted it & being so touched. what a beautiful story of your love and heart for your precious son. thanks for sharing.

our doctors told us that Isaiah would never walk, he would never talk, he would never …… the list goes on …

my wife wrote it beautifully here: http://jeffgreathouse.blogspot.com/2008/09/isaiah-is-11.html

It is me who needs a hand, it is me who needs a lift, it is me who needs some help – and it is they who are there.

My daughter gave me $50 the other day – I said, what’s this for? She said, take it – go buy something it’s for you. As she drove off she never saw the tears roll down my cheeks. Our life up to now of giving physically had been one way – it had now become a two way street. I love you my darling … not just because of the 50 bucks either!!!!

Hey, be nice to your children, they will choose your nursing home one day!!!

It’s definitely not for the weak or wimpy. If you have low self-esteem, I’d advise you to get that pumped up before becoming a parent. If you are independent, prepare to lose your independence for at least 18 years and often many more.

My children have shown me myself – the good, the bad, and definitely the ugly. They have taught me how it is impossible to love one more than the other (you love them differently, not more or less). They have taught me how important it is to be consistent, stand by my promise (or threat) and that love and forgiveness can be given and accepted freely right alongside consequences.

They have shown me that life teaches at least as well as I can, and most times, better. And they have shown me that parenting is a long term investment – you may be discouraged at the bumps and dips and sometimes you think you’ve lost it all, but if you wait long enough you may find that your return is far more than you can ever have imagined – for your children and for you.

I can relate on so many levels — remember being floored when the hospital turned my wife and I loose with our newborn son (the firstborn). I thought I should at least have to pass some certification test or something…

Two girls later, we’ve definitely lightened up — noticed the volume of photos, videos, etc., we’ve taken along the way has decreased proportionally with each child…

Re: embarassing moments, I remember taking the family to see the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie a few years back. Our youngest was 3 or 4, and she LOVED the first movie (calling it the Pirate Wovie) — even the scary skeleton parts we probably shouldn’t have let her see but she did anyway when her older siblings put on the DVD at home. Being the dutiful parent that I was, I read several online reviews that all said the 2nd movie was less scary than the first. So we took her…and she loved it until the part where the huge scary kracken sea monster thingy started devouring ships (admittedly louder and scarier on the big screen than at home). After burying her head in my chest for a time, she proceeded to stand up in her seat, look at her mother and I, then exclaim loudly — “WHY DID YOU BRING ME TO THIS MOVIE?!!”

So proud…

Beautifully put, once again. I’m still working on the “bar” and the “lighten up” parts. I’d add one more to the list, though, something like: “always remember, you’re sponge food.” I did a little piece about what I mean a few months back. Though you might dig it.

Have a great trip. Come back in one piece.

Grace and Peace,
Raffi

Funny, I am not a parent, but I get curious every once in awhile about how parenting is “supposed” to be done. I just finished listening to this really interesting book on CD called “How to parent your teen with love and logic”. Actually, really opened my eyes to ideas I had never thought of before. just like there probably is no perfect job, i imagine you are very right in that there are no perfect parents out there either.