Thanks, I have been by before. You have comments from me via my blogger account; jeff greathouse (www.jeffgreathouse.blogspot.com)

I will give sweeping credit to everyone involved. I am still developing the sermon that is going to be the launching pad to encourage folks to join our care groups.

Thanks, I love your writing.

zionlutheran – welcome! and sure, just give credit to the original material since that’s what i adapted it from. i truly believe these so all apply to communities, too. would love to hear your sermon!

Kathy’s mention of refuge missionally extending beyond their walls reminded me of a scene from A Series of Unfortunate Events…

Anyone see that movie? The scene I’m thinking of shows the three Boudelaire children being browbeaten and threatened by their new “benefactor” Count Olaf — this coming after they’ve just lost their parents and their childhood home to a fire.

Their response? To create their own “sanctuary” — a place in the midst of a hostile environment where they could recapture a sense of family, safety, and belonging…

nick – yeah, that is my hope, that this pervades into all my relationships…

lisa – we should probably think about another mercy boot camp for sure. that was almost 2 years ago now…i liked the book, it was a helpful tool for sure & that question: why do i keep hanging around people who aren’t good for me? is a great one.

tracy – it is so beautiful, what is happening in your group! and i love what you said how it works both ways and that that gets cultivated intentionally in your community. i am so with you on the conflict thing. i think so many of us are so stunted in the conflict department that any little boat rocking freaks us out and we assume the relationship can’t hack it. true safe relationships means we can work through conflict and stay in. ah, we’re all learning so much.

rich – welcome!!! and thanks for your comments. i love what God is doing through the thrive materials and your guys hearts. i think you hit it on the head: so many have learned that the world is a dangerous place, relationships are dangerous ground, so self-protection is our natural defense. but in us is this deep desire for true relationship. i do think it’s so contagious, safety. when we become more safe, it passes on to others, and is really really compelling. it will be so fun one day to get to sit across the table from you and tracy and get to have some really really fun conversations! (ps: you know it, but you have an amazing partner. tracy is awesome…)

john – good addition, i so agree. the more we let go of having all the answers the more safe we become

katherine – i think you are so right, without a safe container, forget it, it just won’t work. a safe relationship gives the freedom that could never just automatically or synthetically be created. it is a gift that is nurtured and then gives us the ability to pass it on to others. the long haul is a huge piece. the non-judgement is a huge piece. oh if only this could be created more intentionally in an entire church, not just a few relationships!

jessica – good to hear from you! welcome here. i think it would be so good for christian college kids to begin to think about these things really intentionally. sure couldn’t hurt. i think a big piece of spiritual formation must include these relational pieces. they are all intertwined. just give credit to the original material because that is what they were adapted from, we added some of our own to the list. would love to hear how they get integrated into dorm life there!

mark – it is always fun to hear from you. your comments always make me smile that was the idea behind the word when we planted the refuge & it was funny because some people were like “oh, that word implies that it’s inwardly focused and how can you be missional with that word?” (yeah, irritating to me). the world need places of refuge. when we get refreshed, replenished, healing, hope, we naturally pass it on to others. “refuge” goes beyond our “walls” (not that we really have any anyway) all the time because it goes with us as people. that is so fun, posting at your community’s gathering. would so love to hear more about what you all are doing!

blake – yes, the safety first will allow us to move. safety definitely doesn’t mean challenge. for some, safety will be one of the most challenging things that we ever do–to actually really let someone else in and learn to truly trust. and yes, i love that narnia quote and i think it is so appropriate to remember: God is wild and challenging, and that is what creates spiritual transformation in us. but the basic security we can all have is knowing God is with us, present, and will not ditch us no matter what. in the material safe people they speak of some qualities of Jesus’ safety: dwelling, grace & truth. incarnational/present, unconditionally loving, honest & willing to say hard things. thanks for sharing…

wayne – yeah it is brutally hard to really nurture, with all kinds of ups and downs! of course, you can use, just give credit to the original material since that’s what it is adapted from…would love to know how things are going out there!